Halloween Should Be Interesting This Year

I took the the boys to the new Halloween store. It's filled with a variety of gruesome displays, including a two-headed zombie baby that is particularly creepy. They loved it. They have now both decided that they want to be the "Grimson Reaper" for Halloween. So, I'm thinking. The Grim Reaper is the somber-looking, somewhat gruesome harbinger of death. Is the Grimson Reaper his more daring, fashionable cousin who has a penchant for red?

Out of the Mouths of Babes

Earlier tonight the boys were playing and were being suspiciously quiet. So, I went to investigate. I found a fort constructed from every large toy they own and Legos. Addison looked up and said, "I learned a lesson tonight." Being unsure of the nature of this lesson, I replied with a generic and cautious, "That's good. What was it?" To which my miniature old man said, "If you dig into the Lego box deep enough you will find the piece you are looking for. That's kind of like life, huh?" "How so, Addison?" "If you dig deep enough in life you will find what you are looking for."

I don't even know what to say about that. He's eight, right?

Shake It Up, Baby

I know we all have our own weird little quirks, but one of mine is becoming more visible. I have had an essential tremor for eight years or so. (Think Katherine Hepburn in On Golden Pond, but mine isn't that bad.) My head just moves from side to side by itself. It is completely cosmetic with no other physical ramifications. So, anyway, I have always been able to tell when it happens and stop it if I concentrated. Now. Well. Not so much. I was walking down the hall the other day when someone said, "Is it that bad? That you are walking around shaking your head?" I didn't even know it was happening. Other people have commented as well, but I won't bore you with the details. It's worse when I'm tired or stressed, so this may be an excellent excuse to sleep late, get a mani/pedi, and indulge in a massage. In the meantime, if I start shaking my head when you are talking to me it doesn't mean that I am disagreeing with you. Not necessarily, anway. ;-)

Superpowers

Conversation on the way to school today.

Alden: Da-duh-Da I'm Super Alden!
Addison: (smirking) You're not Super Alden.
Alden: (arms raised in the air) Yes, I am! Da-duh-Da! Super Alden!
Addison: Yeah. And you have the power to suck juice.

Never a dull moment.

Ok. I admit it. I have been a superslacker about blogging since school started back. When I get home, my brain moves in slow motion. I promise to do better. In the meantime--The boys were arguing today (shocker) and Alden yelled, "You stupid junk drawer." Of course, we talked about using kind words but I have to give him points for originality.

Enough Said

I was running the water for Alden's bath when he came in wanting to test the temperature. He moved cautiously into the tub and announced, "It feels right to my feet but I have to let Mr. Penis test it. Mr. Penis tells me what to do sometimes." Need I say more?

Addisonisms

I am sure that this is the first of many entries with this title. Addison is always coming up with something.

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Today-I am worn out. I'm just like an old rug.

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One of my favorite of his jokes- What do you call a car with horns? A cattle-ac.

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I like to think up sneaky things and get my brother to do them. (Hint: They're not so sneaky if you tell your mom and dad.)

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What do computers eat? Chips.

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What do you call a nation of dogs? A dalnation

School Days

Alden started Kindergarten today. I thought I was fairly unemotional about it. I was wrong. We walked into the new classroom, his hand firmly gripping mine. After putting his school supplies on his desk, he joined the other kids who were building with Legos and Lincoln Logs on the brightly colored rug. I stood and watched him playing next to, but not with the other kids. Then, I noticed all of the other parents, standing and watching their own children playing next to their classmates. When I leaned down to ask about his creation, he looked up at me. His big, brown eyes were rimmed with red as he was determined not to cry. "Mommy, this is scary." He spoke for both of us. We both feel comfortable and safe with preschool. We know what to expect; there is a routine. We know that our voices will be heard by the teachers and that his best interest is always the priority. He's right. This is scary.

All day, I found myself thinking about him. Is his new teacher making this a little less intimidating? Is his first day going to be all about rules and consequences? Has he worked up the courage to talk to a new friend? Is this year going to be a series of terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days? Is this teacher going to enjoy his laugh and his corny sense of humor? Is she going to work with him to get through the rough spots? Is she going to "get" him? If not, will she be willing to try? Lots of questions. No answers.

As soon as he saw me in the car line, his eyes lit up. He immediately started talking about playing with giant dice, having a fire drill, and climbing on the playset. I asked, "Was it scary?" Without hesitation he said, "No! It was fun!"

Maybe this won't be so bad after all.

Totally Floored

Recently, I had an adventure with the Mr. (my biggest boy). We laid bamboo flooring throughout several rooms in our house. I learned a lot in the process.

1. How to use a variety of hand tools and power tools. Pneumatic nailers and miter saws are only part of my repertoire.
2. I like having the ability to use these tools but I do NOT like actually using them.
3. Home improvement projects increase testosterone levels in males. The more power tools involved, the higher the testosterone level.
   
4. The longer a project lasts and the later in the day it gets, the shorter tempers become. Mathematicians should come up with a formula for that.
5. All projects take longer than you think they will. Take your estimated time frame, multiply it 2, and subtract 3 minutes.
   
6. Four days of frozen meals and sandwiches is all I can take.
7. Subtlety of language can speak volumes. Mr.- "My least favorite part of this project has been..." This implies that there actually WAS a favorite part. Holly- "Well, it is less unpleasant now that..." It is incorrect to say "less unpleasant," but to say "more pleasant" would have implied that I had enjoyed some part of this crazy project.
8. I get really pissed when people say, "That sure was a big project for the Mr." WTF!?!?
9. The next time I have an enormous project that needs to be done, I am hiring someone else to do it no matter what the Mr. says. He will have to be content with using his power tools for his artwork.
10. After a week of a working on a diy project and living in the midst of it, you will either love and appreciate your significant other more than when you started or you will want to strangle him with the the bright orange, heavy-duty extension cord. Or both.