Alden started Kindergarten today. I thought I was fairly unemotional about it. I was wrong. We walked into the new classroom, his hand firmly gripping mine. After putting his school supplies on his desk, he joined the other kids who were building with Legos and Lincoln Logs on the brightly colored rug. I stood and watched him playing next to, but not with the other kids. Then, I noticed all of the other parents, standing and watching their own children playing next to their classmates. When I leaned down to ask about his creation, he looked up at me. His big, brown eyes were rimmed with red as he was determined not to cry. "Mommy, this is scary." He spoke for both of us. We both feel comfortable and safe with preschool. We know what to expect; there is a routine. We know that our voices will be heard by the teachers and that his best interest is always the priority. He's right. This is scary.
All day, I found myself thinking about him. Is his new teacher making this a little less intimidating? Is his first day going to be all about rules and consequences? Has he worked up the courage to talk to a new friend? Is this year going to be a series of terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days? Is this teacher going to enjoy his laugh and his corny sense of humor? Is she going to work with him to get through the rough spots? Is she going to "get" him? If not, will she be willing to try? Lots of questions. No answers.
As soon as he saw me in the car line, his eyes lit up. He immediately started talking about playing with giant dice, having a fire drill, and climbing on the playset. I asked, "Was it scary?" Without hesitation he said, "No! It was fun!"
Maybe this won't be so bad after all.
